In what I think is the prettiest and saddest part of Miserable’s song “Oven,” the first single off her forthcoming LP Uncontrollable, Kristina Esfandiari sings “I shouldn’t be ashamed to feel this strange, I know that you used to love me,” and with that line the otherwise sad song flashes a quick smile. Something about this emotional traversing, the distance between the song’s lyrical sadness and its eventually-beautiful melody, seems so essential for coping with loss. The song’s range of emotional articulation, the way it makes one feeling from its opposite, feels like its only help.
Miserable is Esfandiari’s solo project, and she also sings for King Woman. Miserable has released two EPs, and Uncontrollable will be her first LP. “Oven” is texturally in line with a lot of the music she’s performed with this project and with others, it’s a dark, lethargic shoegaze. Her voice has a lot of the same qualities, it’s deep, even weighed down at times; I like her voice because she sings not like she’s using a lot of energy, but like she’s used a lot of energy, and I think it gives this song a lot of its heartbreak.
“Oven” is sung to the person it’s about, be it the person in the memories or the person in the world, and it makes sense, because what else is there to sing to, other than the presence of the love that isn’t there? This songs makes me think ghosts aren’t scary, they’re sad.