Welcome back to SONG-FREUD, the only music column that doubles as a deep cavity search of your favorite Bay Area music. A pro bono psychotherapy session available for your cathartic pleasure, SONG-FREUD is also a public service. It’s good karma to write, and good karma to read.

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In this week’s SONG-FREUD, we turn our attention to the age-old spectacle of bestiality. Some people get freaky with dolphins, and others like to perform sex acts on horses, but on their tune “New Lawn,” San Francisco’s Spooky Mansion take things to a whole new level. Their singer, Grayson Converse, is sleeping with a frog! (In the above photo, the band is clearly looking for frogs, in nature.)

“Your hands are small and wet and cold,” he grimaces. Yeah, that’s definitely an amphibian. “Your eyes are way too big,” he moans. That’s either a frog or Steve Buscemi. Let’s assume it’s a frog, because Steve Buscemi has large hands. Grayson wants to bury the frog in the lawn, which is suiting because, like frogs, lawns are green. In prose, we call this a signifier.

But why kill it? What has the frog done to him?

“What a mess,” he cries. This makes sense, because frogs live in water, and inevitably, will track some mud/sewage into bed with them. Having to change the sheets every day? Yeah, that would bum me out too. All those trips to Bed, Bath and Beyond probably add up.

Towards the end of the song, the drums and guitars pick up steam and Grayson makes his ultimate confession: “If you were a girl, I’d marry you.” See, he just wants a human lover!  As a professional, I suggest that he see a counselor or something. Whatever you do, don’t get Rick Santorum involved.

Listen to “New Lawn” below.