I can't find it anywhere! I have searched high and low! Where the fuck is my G-spot?! Surely there is another way to find extreme pleasure...

If you haven't been pleasured by Leonard Cohen, you simply haven't been pleasured. Leonard Cohen will perform at San Jose's HP Pavilion on Wednesday, November 7th. Unfortunately you need to shell out $278 to Ticketscheister or sit in the nosebleed section. Here is another idea brought to you by the good folks at San Frandelic:

Get ye' down to the historic Hotel Utah on Saturday, July 7th where Cohen's 1975 record Death of a Ladies' Man will be performed in its entirety. There is no one better suited to the project than Oaktown's very own Greg Ashley. He has been performing inspired versions of track 4, "Memories," for some time, and the rest of the record should sound equally orgasmic in Greg's talented hands.

Greg Ashley

Death of a Ladies' Man, Cohen's fifth record, was co-written and produced by the wall-of-sound mad genius Phil Spector (claims to know the G-Spot and recently incarcerated). Bob Dylan and Allen Ginsberg sang on track 6, "Don't Go Home with your Hard-On." It should be no surprise then that it is Cohen's sexiest, wildest record. The story goes that Spector employed guns to keep Cohen out of the studio during mixing.

The video above (only recently available!) is from the 1970 Isle of Wight concert. It was 4 am. People were tense. Kris Kristofferson was booed off stage. Hendrix had just finished playing. The crowd set fires. A piano was burned. There were riots. With magical ease, Cohen captivated and calmed the estimated 600,000 attendees. He stimulated the audience gently, he applied the right amount of pressure at just the right moments. He.....he......Aaaahhhhhh......

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